It’s national #infertilityawareness week and I am 1 & 8 women who struggle with infertility. I’m 1 & 8 who thought she could get pregnant immediately, who thought her physical health mirrored her fertility health, who cried herself to sleep more nights than she can count.
As a black woman, there are additional struggles because our community is so silent about health issues. Due to past experiences with medical professionals, blacks tend to shy away from doctors or not just trust them. I’ve been told not to believe the test results. 🤦🏾♀️ But since I started sharing our process of adoption so many black women have reached out saying they are also struggling and no one knows or their family doesn’t believe in infertility and thinks they’re making it all up. Infertility is a real thing and there are many forms of it. I’ll be 31 tomorrow (4/27) and have never been pregnant. I spoke to a woman who can get pregnant but miscarries every time. I have a cousin with so much scar tissue doctors will no longer do surgeries or move forward with implantation for IVF. I have a friend who lost twins, she had to give birth to one and hoped she could keep the other Only to lose the second baby a week later. I met a woman who carried her baby to term and her angel passed shortly after birth. My cousin lost their baby in utero. Women whose bodies just can’t handle the pregnancy. Women who go into preterm labor and end up on bed rest.
Infertility touches us in different ways and it’s all traumatic and devastating. You can’t tell us how to feel. You can’t tell us to just move on. You can’t tell us to be happy we don’t have to deal with kids. You can’t tell us you’ll just give us yours when you’re stressed. Instead, say; “ How are you doing? Are you ok? Do you need anything? I’m here if you want to talk. It’s ok to be upset. Do you want me to bring you food?”
To all the mamas and future mamas out there who struggle. I see you. I feel your pain. You’re not alone. You will get through this.
And P.S. no, I will not magically become pregnant because we got placed with Joseph. Adoption is not the cure to infertility. 🙃
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