Last August I went to LA for a weekend retreat. The retreat was hosted by @massy.arias and luckily my girl @vivir.con.pasion went too.
There were about 15 of us and the night before this photo we all sat around the hot tub and each of us had to pick a word that explained where we were in our mental health journey and why we chose that word. Mine was “transition”. We had just completed all of our adoption paperwork, had our home visit and were home study approved to adopt. Even though we were mentally and emotionally prepared to adopt, a small part of me still held out hope that I would magically pop up pregnant. And once we became home study approved it became real that I may never have the opportunity to carry my own children. So it was very bittersweet be coming home study approved. On one hand, I was very excited to be done with everything because we spent a lot of time preparing ourselves to adopt. Once we had our home visit it was such a relief to finally be done! But, then the initial grief you experience with infertility crept back in.
I talked about my fears of not feeling like I would be “mom enough“ if we were only able to adopt. One of the most common fears hopeful adoptive parents feel before placement is that they won’t feel like a “real parent”. A lot of people worry that they will feel more like a nanny or babysitter than an actual parent to the child. I was really worried that I would feel like something was still missing from my life.
Fast forward to today and I’m the mom of an amazing 7-month-old baby boy through adoption who is absolutely perfect for our family! He’s everything we could’ve dreamed of and more. He knows we are his, DNA or not.
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